Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
