Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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