there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
