i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
