Already got asked if we're dating
someone owes me an orgasm
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize