I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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