So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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