she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
operation have a gay friend backfired
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
