just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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