It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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