my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
we made out on top of his cat.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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