i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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