i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
this beer tastes like vomit already
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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