I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
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Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
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... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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