Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
