I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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