I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
