Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
