Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
