hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
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