you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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