Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Randomize
