People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Randomize
