did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
At least make sure they are 18
Why
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
