the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
