He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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