taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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