I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
