she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
