Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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