i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
