You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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