so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
