stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
