Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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