someone threw a dead crab at me
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
