i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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