i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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