I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Everything about him screamed your future.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize