You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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