He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
