Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
