I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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