I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
It can also be a hat.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.