ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.