Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.