We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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