I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
