she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
This is not my ceiling
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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