"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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