Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize