speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
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After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
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I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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