Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
