Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
