when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize