I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
