My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize