Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
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You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
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You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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