you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
