covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
