Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
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im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
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I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased