girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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