the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
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he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
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Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".